97 Days Left
Weight: 205 (wtf?)
Training Time: 12:25
Total Pledge Value: $617.47

For the first time during my training I ran on a treadmill. The rain and the desire to train drove me indoors. I was extremely pleased with how the training went. I ran a very solid 4.9 miles in 45 minutes. That's 7.84 km for us metric fiends. That works out to 10 km in 57 minutes. For anyone who's keeping track, that's faster than The Enemy's Sun Run time. If that isn't enough, I was on the treadmill next to an Enemy look alike today (short, asian, girl), and I totally whipped her ass...a look into the future perhaps?

In other news, I got a new pledge today. Shocking! A friend of my dad's, and an accomplished joggist herself has pledged me $10. Susan can run 10km in 45 minutes herself, so she's definitely another woman I don't intend to challenge to a race.

98 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 11:40
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

As mentioned previously, intervals are the devil's work. Their effects last into the next day with painful shins and knees. Today I did a 30 minute stint on the stripper machine. Try as I might I could not keep my heart rate high enough. My legs were just too damn tired. I did a good job of avoiding eating today, which prevented any nausea, but I was totally wiped out on the eliptical. I may have to find some way of getting a bit of sugar in my body before runs.

In related news. I recently found out that my sister ran 10km last year in around 45 minutes. That's fully 25% less than the time posted by The Enemy a month and a half ago. I'm going to mark this down as number 17 on my list of reasons that I'm glad I never dated my sister.

99 Days Left!!
Weight: 206
Training Time: 11:35
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

An unfortunate weekend, errands and a 10 hour work day on Sunday forced me to skip running. Today was an interval day...you remember those right? Well, the horror of running 4 minute sets lived up to all expectations. I definitely puked like a champ in the middle of my second set. However, you'll all be proud to know that I took it in stride and went on to run the third set.

103 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 11:10
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Long day today. Both at the office and on the trail. I ran for an hour at 150 bpm. No major hitches today, I kept moving the whole time. The idea of days like today is to have a longer run but at a slower pace. I'm reasonably happy with the distance I covered, about 8.5 km. Those of you with math skills will note that puts me well off The Enemy's Sun Run time. However, I remain unconcerned and even confident for the following reasons.

1. My running terrain is quite hilly.
2. 150 bpm is not "top speed".
3. There's still 100 days to go.
4. I have a penis, and we all know that people with penises run faster than people with vaginas (that should get me the support of all the girls).

104 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 10:10
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Hey sports fans. Yesterday's workout was again unfortunately cancelled, this time due to an insensitive former employer who was needlessly irate and childish when I went down to do him a favour yesterday at work. Well, karma's a bitch and I suspect that he will get his comeuppance in the due course of time. I had to be talked down from writing a very angry letter to him, with phrases like "profoundly offended" and "unprofessional conduct", maybe even a bit of the old "you are a douchebag".

Today I did a 30 minute run at 160 bpm, shorter than normal due to some problems with stomach upset. Seriously, I'm gonna have to run on a very empty stomach when the Enemy and I face each other. I'm still adjusting the eat at work, run as soon as you come home routine. Once I sort that out it should be all good. I think one key is going to be to focus on staying hydrated.

106 Days Left
Weight: 205
Training Time: 9:40
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

I was forced to skip yesterday's training due to the previous night's overindulgence, but I relucatantly returned to my chosen methods of self-abuse today. Its pouring rain outside (laugh it up Ontarions, it barely ever snows here, we get flowers in February and we don't die of heat exhaustion all summer) and seeing as there are still over one hundred days to the big race, I'm going to remain a fair-weather runner for now. I made today a cross-training day and pulled a 45 minute stint on the eliptical (aka. stripper machine - so named for its primary users). I don't love the eliptical, but its easier to get your HR up with that than the rowing machine, plus now I'll have fodder for conversation while "enjoying" the coach's pledge. Apparently in 45 minutes I was able to burn 855 calories...that's like 3 chocolate bars! Crazy.

On an interesting side note, I hit my lowest weight in a while yesterday morning - 200 pounds even. Unfortunately, I think that had more to do with the severe dehydration that comes with drinking rather than a sudden and impressive fat loss. However, I am definitely seeing a slow but steady downward trend in the weight department. As my homey Martha likes to say, "it's a good thing."

107 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 8:55
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

A dissapointing run today, plagued by nausea and side cramps. I'd like to tell you that I pushed through the pain and kept running, but I buckled like a cheap tent. I didn't walk the whole way but the run was definitely punctuated by some weak-ass walking periods. Accordingly, I'm not counting the run in my training time, I'm guessing I ran 20 mins total when it was supposed to be 40, pathetic. I'm realizing that I can't eat for at least 4 hours before I run if I want to avoid trouble. Good to find that out now rather than on race day.

108 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 8:55
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Owwwwwwwwwww! The coach made me do intervals today. Some of you may remember them from a week or two ago. They're a hideous exercise in pain and suffering. I'm in a bit of pain at the moment from soem manner of shin splints or just shin pain. The running was the same as last interval day 10 mins warm up 3x4 min full out runs with two minute rests in between. Suffice it to say that I hate the coach and his sadistic torture rituals. Oh, and as a testament to my hardcoreness, I did the run at about 10:30 pm. Yeah, dass right.

In other news, my iPod had a near death experience yesterday. While running I was trying to skip songs, it jumped out of my hands, skidded across the road and smacked into the curb. Shockingly, it survived with a small dent and a crack in the plastic cover. Of course, the girls walking down the street in front of me may be scarred for life by the string of expletives I used to mark the event. Oh well, fuck 'em.

109 Days Left
Weight: 204
Training Time: 8:30
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Yesterday was a day off, thankfully. Not only was my body beginning to rebel, but I had a 13 hour day at the office. Luckily, my whining on Tuesday night did not go unheeded and the coach gave me the day off. Good thing too, it would have been a pathetic sight. Work is still fun and exciting, but definitely demanding in terms of time. That's ok though, I'm clearly going to learn a great deal. I'm starting to realize that this job will challenge my commitment to the race. Working 60+ hours a week makes it much harder to find time for daily running than working 25 does. No matter, I won't slack, after all, the Enemy won't beat herself. Good thing it's gonna start being light till 10pm soon.

Speaking of the Enemy, according to her blog she has fled to Mehico. Apparently she has to go there for work. Rrrright...work...Well, hopefully she'll be extradited in time for our race. She's also trying to change the date, claiming that she is going to be "camping" that weekend. Who camps on Labour Day? Anyways, another day will have to be found. Or maybe the orgy...errr "camping" will be cancelled.

Peace out crew, stay tuned for next episode, in which our hero adds an item to his wish list...what will it be? I'll give you a clue, its NOT a box of used pornography.

111 Days Left
Weight: 205
Training Time: 7:45
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Another day, another dollar. The second day of fun working wasn't as exciting as the first but its still a totally awesome job. I can see I'm going to have to work pretty hard there, but thass ok.

I had a bit of a blip with my run today, nasty stomach cramp forced a bit of walking, but I still rocked a solid 40 minute run. We're in the midst of a heat wave in Vancity and I can't decide which makes you sweatier, jogging or walking to the courthouse in a black suit. I'm thinking its the suit. I'm sure I'll have plenty more days to figure it out.

112 Days Left
Weight: 205
Training Time: 7:05
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Its been a hectic couple of days, but I think I'm going to be settling into a routine now. I had my first day at the new job today. Talk about jumping right in, I spent the morning in court and the afternoon in jail. 5 hours in and already I was sitting in on a client interview...in jail. This job is clearly the mothafuckin' bomb.

In spite of all the jobbly excitement, I've managed to keep up with the training. Yesterday I went on what was supposed to be a long, easy run, but turned into an epic run. I was supposed to be out for an hour but I ended up running for 1:15, a bit of an overtrain according to the coach. He doesn't want his prize horse (me) getting injured before the big race (vs. The Enemy). I understand his concern, he can't put me out to stud if I don't have any results. And frankly, if all this training isn't gonna guarantee me mad opportunities for coitus, then why am I bothering?

Today I did a 40 minute cross train. I decided to try the rowing machine. No offense to you rowers, but that thing is bloody useless. Try as I might I couldn't top about 150 bpm on the HR monitor and I leveled off around 140, not an adequate training pace. We'll try something new next cross day.

114 Days Left
Weight: 206
Training Time: 5:00
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

I hopped back on the crazy train today and continued with the training. The coach had a fever and the only prescription was a 40 minute run at 160 bpm. Not one to dissapoint, I knocked it out like my last name was Tyson.

I was aided in my efforts by my new kicks. These aren't just any old running shoes though, these babies are THE BEAST. For real, my running shoes are called Brooks Beasts. This shoe really is a beast, its heavy and possibly the ugliest shoe I have ever seen. When the salesman at Running Room showed them to me I was surprised to find out Brooks made running shoes that cost more that $50. However, they are just what the doctor ordered for my horribly flat feet. They make my runs a lot more comfortable and hopefully will allow me to train more effectively. Now let us all take a moment to ponder the awesomeness of running with shoes called The Beast.

115 Days Left
Weight: Unknown
Training Time: 4:15
Total Pledge Value: $607.47

Well kiddies, its been a very hectic week. For those of you who missed out on your daily dose of Mike yesterday, my apologies. I have been very busy this week, not only was my good friend Bill in town and up to no good, but I recently obtained meaningful employment for the summer and have spent my last two days sorting out all the things that go along with that. My new job is at a criminal law firm in downtown Vancouver and I'm sure it will prove to be both exciting and challenging. But, this blog is not for law talk, we'll leave that for Lawyerlike. My busy week also means that the last two days have been devoid of training. The coach has forgiven my misstep and says that it is not a big problem. He is concerned that over-training will lead to injury, so he assures me that occasional missed days are perfectly acceptable. I'm back on the training regimen tomorrow.

Just because I haven't been training, doesn't mean that the pledges have not continued to roll in. My friend Adam, the original escalator, has pledged 3 loaves of bread, for making into bread balls. I tried to find a suitable link, but to no avail. A bread ball is made by squeezing crustless Wonder Bread into a ball. Its filthy and purportedly delicious. But wait folks, that's not all! I told my Grandmother about the big race and she decided to pledge as well. When she heard about all the pledges I'd already collected she pledged $100. I told her that that seemed quite high, but she was unconcerned, she feels that "the odds are against" me. She also plans to start reading the blog, I told her that some of the content was R-rated, but I guess by the time you turn 72 you're allowed to rent ultraporn if you want to, so this shouldn't be a big deal.

And finally, as promised, I will properly explain the coach's $90 pledge. On Tuesday, during my training consultation with the coach, he told me that he had reconsidered his stance on pledging. He generously pledged $90. The amount was calculated to take me over the $500 barrier and ensure that I would be racing in my sporting whites. However, like all good things, this pledge does not come condition free. The coach has said that this $90 must be spent by him, on me, at a gentlemen’s club. This pledge is disgusting and wrong, but I have committed to accepting all material pledges, so I’m powerless to refuse it. It also completes the much sought after sexual trilogy (the other two elements being Viagra and a gross of condoms). But if any of you think I’m going to describe the array of morally degrading things that an entertainer will do for $90, either now, or after it happens, you’re sorely mistaken. The fact is that I respect their artistic integrity too much to reveal the details of their performances. Oh, and Grams, if you're reading this, I'’m just gonna sip my beer and avert my eyes the whole night, I swear.

117 Days Left
Weight: 207
Training Time: 4:15
Total Pledge Value: $501.47

I was back on the regular training wagon today. Assisted by new shoes that do a much better job of supporting my arch. The run went reasonably well, I've upped my pace a bit, which feels good. My more astute readers will also have noticed that I have surpassed the magical $500 mark, and so I will be suiting up in my dress whites for the big race. You can thank an attitude change on the part of the coach, the substance of his pledge deserves a proper explanation, but my friend Bill is in town and we are off to eat and drink excessively. I'll write about the new shoes and the mysterious $90 pledge tomorrow...provided that I don't get arrested tonight.

118 Days Left
Weight: 207
Training Time: 3:45
Total Pledge Value: $411.47

Fuuuuuuuck. Today the coach - who is clearly a sadist, had me try something new. After a 10 minute warm up I ran three sets of 4 minutes each, running as hard as I could. Each set was separated from the next by a two minute walking rest, which gave me just enough time to blow my nose and throw up in my mouth. Before today I thought that the training was quite managable and sometimes even enjoyable. I will never refer to this interval crap as enjoyable. My understanding is that intervals were designed by Satan as a way of making people vomit and wish for death. I think that fairly describes how they make me feel...can't wait for tomorrow.

119 Days Left
Weight: 205! (I had to re-zero my scale, so call it 207 relative to the previous measurements)
Training Time: 3:17
Total Pledge Value: $411.47

Another day, another run. Today I went on my longest jog so far. I wasn't happy with the first ten mins of my run, mostly because I had to stop and, errr, cough up some of the water I'd downed before setting out the door. As some of you may be aware, its tough to run while on the verge of puking. However, a bit of walking and some Ghetto Rock and I was ready to go. I ended up running for 40 minutes all told, a solid run, no doubt about it. Tomorrow the coach has me starting something new, somehow I doubt it will involve ice cream and tv, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed until I know for sure.

In pledge news I'm sure you can all see that I'm coming perilously close to the $500 mark. I hope I don't get arrested for running in my Law Games get-up, cause honestly, that shit is indecent. The most recent pledge came from my younger brother Dave, President-Elect of Gate House and all-around funny boy. He has pledged a gross of condoms. In Dave's opinion, once I make the transition from Fluff to Buff, I'm "going to be so fit and ready for some serious skanky-ass action." Thanks for lookin' out for the little guy, Dave. Now all I need is a box of porn or a tub of lube to complete the sexual paraphernalia trilogy.

120 Days Left
Weight, Pledges and Training Time remain the same.

Don't let the training time fool you children, Mike was still exercising today. The coach deemed today a cross-training day and so, rather than running, I played squash. I'm sure you're all wondering "Who did he play with?". Well, not to leave you in suspense, this was a contest fit for blogging. It pitted Mike against The Enemy. Needless to say tensions were high as we set foot on the court. The Enemy has more experience on the court than me, and generally wins our matches. But today I walked onto the court with a sense of purpose, buoyed by bravado and my superior male athleticism I was sure that the day would be mine. The Enemy took the first game and I the second. The third again fell to the antagonist in this narrative and yours truly won the fourth game, leaving us tied at 2 games apiece.
Squash is a best of five contest, so all of my hopes and dreams rested on the fifth and final game. We locked eyes, gave each other a nod and the game began. I'd like to say that I came through in the clutch. That I ran nimbly across the court and snatched victory from the jaws of defeat. I'd like to say that, but I can't. In record time The Enemy dashed my hopes and raised my ire. Not to confuse you though, my frustration lay with myself and not her. She showed poise and determination at the crucial moment and I came unravelled like a ball of twine.
However, I've not lost hope. This was by far my best performance on the squash court, and though I lost, I will soon win. I think we can safely draw a parallel with running. For now I am the weaker of the two athletes, but my potential is high and my progress will be swift. Its only a matter of time before The Enemy's victories are but distant memories and she pouts as I emerge from our contest victorious.

121 Days Left
Weight: 210
Training time: 2:37
Total Pledge Value: $381.47

Due to the fact that I'm very hardcore I was back on the training program today. The coach had me running my same 5+25 at 150 bpm. It went pretty smoothly, all things considered. My syphlitic cough seems to have abated, so I only had to contend with a mild nosebleed. Because I'm a champ I just stuffed some kleenex in my nose and kept going. I'm hopeful that once I lay off the coke my nosebleeds will stop too.

In a true 'The Price is Right' move, my friend Jon has one-upped his former housemate John by a single cent and pledged $17.74 to the cause. Talk about escalation - this is reminiscent of the Gate House days, where mouldy bread balls and leaners (def'n 3) were commonplace. I wonder if the original escalator will get in on the action...

Also, a special pledge-related note. My dear sister, Adele Elizabeth Ruhl, noted huffily that I had not mentioned her pledge in the blog. While this is not specifically true, I did fail to mention her name alongside it. She was one of my initial pledgers and was noted anonymously. Therefore, I would like it to be known that she has pledged the price of a bottle of Hennessey. Because I'm OG like that, and she knows this. Anyone who knows Addie will recognize the significant effort she must have made to pry open her purse and part with an amount of money in the tens of dollars. It's all about the Macdonalds, baby.

123 Days Left
No other vital stats today - assume that they're the same as yesterday. As I've neither showered, nor dressed for an appreciable period of time today I'm feeling pretty disinclined to weigh myself. I'm sure you will all get over your dissapointment.

So I spent another day sick in bed. Today was much better than yesterday thanks to my old friend NyQuil. Today someone asked if I had tried NeoCitron. In fact, I did try NeoCitron last night, mostly it just burnt my tongue - it definitely did not propel me into a world of sleep and bliss the way that NyQuil does. I believe I referred to NeoCitron as NyQuil's retarded cousin, and I stand by that.

I also took NyQuil during the day for the first time today. I must say that it does a great job of relieving to boredom I spoke of yesterday. For one thing, it helps you to sleep, even in the middle of the day. And for another, it gives you a curious fuzzy feeling in your brain...It makes you high. My other diversion has been the first season of Lost. I've rented the first couple of DVDs am in the process of watching them, for now I'll say that the show is aiight, certainly not amazing. Its kind of like if Cast Away and Survivor had sex and then hired Alien as a babysitter. But seriously folks, who ever heard of a plane disintegrating in mid-air and having 48 survivors? That's about as likely as me being one of the 144 000.

124 Days Left
Weight: 208
Total Training Time: 2:12
Total Pledge Value: $363.73


Well kiddies, I'm sick as a dog. My sister says its probably HepaGonaSyphillAids - but I don't know how she thinks she can diagnose from across the country. Many would say that running with Kleenex in my pocket was a portent of things to come. At any rate, I'm out of commission for a few days. I had to cancel my rollerblading excursion today and I'm sure that tomorrow I'll spend most of my day in bed as well. I have to say that its not as fun as you'd think to cough up your lungs while watching TV all day. Mid-day TV is hella boring.

I did get what may be the most interesting pledge of the day. A friend from high school who is now a big time advertising executive has pledged some Viagra. Though its safe to assume that I'm as virile as an ox, I still think its an entertaining pledge. I also got pledge some actual money yesterday, my buddy John pledged $17.73. He originally wanted to pledge $25, but as he's a poor student I suggested he drop his pledge a bit. He and our homey Steph have even said that they'll try to come out to Vancouver for the big race.

In other news, I now know that I'm e-famous. How do I know? Well, the fact that I'm always should isn't enough for you misfits. But, if that isn't enough, I received my first shout-out in another blog yesterday. That's right, the one and only Lawyerlike mentioned my journey toward fitness and glory. I also noticed that hey loopy loopy, who inspired me to start this blog action in the first place has linked to Fluff to Buff on her sidebar. And that kiddies, is why I am famous.

125 Days Left
Weight: 207 (So that's what happens when you don't drink water...)
Training time: 2:12

I went for longer runs today and yesterday. They were each about 30 minutes. 5 minutes warm-up, then stretch, then 25 more minutes of running. The coach still has me on a 150 bpm pace, which is pretty slow, however, he assures me that we'll be picking things soon enough. For my good behaviour I've been rewarded a 2 day break. One day off and one day with some sort of cross-training. I think the cross-training will involve roller-blading around Stanley Park, which also happens to be the proposed course for the Mike v. Debbie Labour Day Classic. I'm pretty excited for a couple of days off. I'm still struggling through a cold and I have to admit that I'm hyped to get over it so that I can run without leaving a trail of snot and disgusted pedestrians in my wake. Didn't like the image? Yeah well, too bad, I didn't promise that it'd be all rainbows and unicorns. Also, I would like to mention that the coach is taking time to give me my training schedule while also studying for exams - good luck with Corps!

The Enemy dropped in to work last night. She restated her offer to cancel our bet, and then admitted to being scared. Some may say her comment regarding fear was sarcastic, but I'm pretty oblivious, so I assume she was serious. Regardless, this is not the first time she's offered to cancel our bet and probably will not be the last. As the day grows nearer, and my power increases, she will doubtless sit in a darkened room, bottom lip quivering, wondering why she ever dared to challenge the awesome power of Mike. Or something like that.